Lists

By Joe Rector

How many people in their 20s and 30s spend much time planning out their lives? Those who are like me know what I’m referring to. So many things to be done in our daily existences have us writing things down on paper or listing them on cell phones.

For years, I’ve made lists. Most of them dealt with the tasks that involved teaching. Of course, I wrote those items with a red ink pen on a legal pad. Always at the top was the reminder to finish a stack of essays students had written.

At home, another list sat on my desk. On it was the long string of things that needed to be done at home. Mowing wasn’t on the list; I did that chore reflexively. Other items were reminders to trim shrubs, scrape the curb, paint a room and organize a closet. I’ve always been good at making those lists, but too often, I never “get around” to completing every item.

As a younger person, I would sit at my desk in college and plan my life. First, I wanted to secure a job as a high school English teacher. Second, I intended to find someone with whom I could share my life. Next, I planned for us to build a house and settle into a happy existence.

Notice that no mention of children was included. I simply didn’t want children back then. My stance was that I spent all day dealing with children and had no desire to do the same when I came home each night. I planned, and God laughed. Lacey came first, and Dallas followed a couple of years later. They are constant reminders of how much fuller my life has been with their presence.

My plans back then never included consideration of any obstacles. However, they rose. I left teaching for a while to make more money to support my family. I did make more money but never felt comfortable in the business world. I returned to teaching and promised myself to never leave again. I was born to teach, and I planned to do just that. Until the last year, my job was wonderful. Working with teenagers was a joy and a reward. That last year, I realized that I’d passed the age at which I could understand and work with young folks. They needed someone closer to their age.

Tragedies didn’t have a place in my life’s plan, but they came. Mother passed from cancer; my older brother passed only a few years later from the same ugly disease. He was barely 54 years old by a couple of weeks, which made him a year older than our dad when he passed. Other losses that we never expected have occurred over the years. Amy and I have dealt with them as best we could, but all have shaken us and made us question the list of plans we’ve written.

Age has a way of making folks wiser. I know the years have tempered the items on my lists. I’m at the age where I want to enjoy the things I like and ignore all else. Time is limited, and none of it should be spent on the negatives. Amy and I will celebrate our 50th anniversary in December. I never thought I’d live to see that day. We want to travel to places near and far and to always have a week at Isle of Palms, SC. I make few commitments because I don’t want to be tied to anything that I don’t enjoy.

For the most part, the lists that I’ve made are gone, useless. A new plan for my life has taken their place. It’s simple: enjoy each day and do whatever my heart urges. Life is much fuller. I hope younger folks will do the same now. If something doesn’t make them happy, it should be eliminated from life. Put in the simplest terms, “Be happy.”