Goofy and lovable
By Joe Rector
I’ve been thinking about the early years of my life lately. Don’t get me wrong because I have no desire to go back to that time. Just thinking about it makes me feel the need for a nap. Still, living on the verge of young adulthood was a wonderful time. One thing has stood true throughout the years: young boys are the goofiest form of life on the planet.
As things about our bodies changed, most of us guys suddenly developed the need to “Tush-hog.” For those not familiar with the term, it means to try to impress others with our physical abilities. Boys were consumed with their verticality, what we knew back then as jumping. We never passed a doorway that we didn’t jump to slap the top header. Athletic boys soared and sometimes conked their noggins on the tops of the door frames. Others, like me, jumped about 3 ½ inches and “just missed” the thing.
PE turned into a time of embarrassment and torture. Our first task after dressing out was going to the chin bar. Muscle-bound guys loved the opportunity to show off in front of guys and the girls’ PE class on far end of the floor. Fat boys like me had no hope of completing a single pull-up. I’d grip the bar and strain to pull my rotund body toward it. Without fail, some smart aleck would take the opportunity to yank my gym shorts and expose my roundness. Throughout the day, freshmen boys sneaked up on friends and pinched, poked, or pushed them. Such actions were called “grab-a—ing!” We’d spend free time in class arm wrestling or playing thumb war.
Some of us discovered the smoking pit, and in that place we developed a habit that would kill us, debilitate us, or torture us over the months as we struggled to quit. Many of us arrived tardy to classes and walked to the office to receive a note of forgiveness. That pit was the scene of several fights, usually an upperclassman knocking a freshman around. Principals appeared to check smoking permits. They were given to students whose parents had given the children permission to smoke.
At some point in our dorky lives, girls changed. In truth, the red blood flowing through our veins awakened our appreciation of the opposite sex. We began flirting with females in our way-pulling hair, bumping into them, or goosing them. If one girl turned out to be special, we would make attempts to call them. So many calls were terminated early as boys lost their nerve or couldn’t think of anything to talk about. Making those calls was no easier with the family sitting in the kitchen where the one phone was located.
I wonder if boys today are the same way. Hanging up isn’t so easy with Caller ID available. Some reports declare that teens aren’t interested in dating. Have boys matured so much that they no longer goof off and perform acts to impress friends? Life is much more difficult for these young people, and I’m curious what they do to have fun. Whatever it is, I’m sure it involves a cell phone or computer. Little talking actually takes place between them. I hope that events to come in their lives will teach them that realistic, face-to-face communication is necessary. I also hope that they get into some trouble in school over some silly something. Most of all, I hope boys will continue to be goofy and lovable.
