Take Good Care of Her
By Joe Rector
Congratulations to Gage and Ashley Sharp on the birth of their daughter Olivia Grace on April 15. A family was born with the child’s arrival, and while I’m thrilled for my friends, I wouldn’t trade places with them for a billion bucks. I have loved my children, but I don’t want any more.
As worn out as I am after all these years, who I really feel sorry for is my dear wife Amy. In fact, I feel for women as a whole group. Their lives are so much more different from their spouses. The simple fact is that women are much stronger than men. They have the ability to perform “miracles” in their families’ lives. I will prove this by talking about Amy and what she’s been able to do over our years together.
When we married, I was in my first year of teaching at Doyle High School. Amy was still in school. Both of us struggled in our adjustment to life with a partner. My salary was sad, a mere $7,200 a year. Amy came to the rescue. She picked up a part-time job. Additionally, she joined the Army reserves because it paid $75 a month. Thanks to her, we had enough cash to pay the rent on a UT married students’ apartment, groceries and gas.
I pushed until we bought our first house, one constructed by the building trades classes at the high school. Once again, Amy pulled us through by graduating and then going to work at a bank.
Over our 50-year marriage, my wife has lived a rough life. She was 19 when we married and worked every year until she retired a couple of years ago. Most of the time, her work site was 20 or more miles from home. That called for early arrivals at work and late ones at home. Then she had to switch jobs to become super mom. She quickly changed clothes and began cooking supper for the family. Afterwards, she cleaned the kitchen, washed a couple of loads of clothes, and herded two children to the bathtub and then to bed. By the time she laid her head on the pillow, she was beyond tired. The entire day, she’d had no downtime.
“We” were never pregnant. Amy was pregnant. I was along for the ride through her morning sickness, increasing belly size, and contractions. All I did was offer kind words that were of little value and the things we’d learned in breathing exercises class. It was my wonderful wife who gave life to two children. My job was to change an occasional dirty diaper, maybe feed a baby a late-night bottle, and clean up messes from illnesses. In short, I was a janitor.
So, these days, Amy feels guilty when she doesn’t feel like cooking or cleaning or grocery shopping. I realized too late in this life the many demands on her. I suppose I just expected them to be done by her. For the rest of my life, I’ll be more supportive and will kick in by cooking one of the meals on my short list of recipes. I did clean the house over the years; it’s one thing I can do better and quicker than Amy. Now, we do the job together and cut a lot of time.
Gage and Ashley, congratulations again on having brought such a special little soul into this world. Seeing Olivia Grace gives hope that perhaps we can straighten out things and make our world a better place. Gage, make sure to recognize all the things that tear away at Ashley’s time. Look for ways that you can lighten her load. She is your wife, the mother of your child, and your best friend. Take good care of her. That’s sound advice for all of us married guys. Last of all, thank you, Amy, for all you’ve done for our family over the years. You are the true leader of this clan, and I will always love you and will try to ease your burdens for the rest of our days together.
