Walking

By Joe Rector

At some point in the existence of this planet, creatures crawled out of the muck and began life on solid ground. Some forms of life began the slow process of walking upright. Species adapted to upright walking and developed the most comfortable means of doing so.

Amy and I revisited the Museum of Appalachia recently. Along our stroll, several peacocks crossed our paths. I suppose they were waiting for treats, but when we offered none, they turned in another direction where other folks might be kinder. I grew up next to a farm that had several of these birds, but I never paid attention to their walk. Each step that they take seems to be carefully planned. At the same time, their necks are crooked and their heads poke forward with each step.

My favorite animal is a dog, a rescue mutt. Our pup Sadie is a medium-sized canine. She always has a bounce to her step. Of course, she wanders from place to place and sniffs the ground for traces of her number one nemesis: a rabbit. If a bunny is in the yard, Sadie becomes a hunter; she slows to a crawl and oh-so-stealthily begins her walk toward the prey. She never catches one because the length of her leash keeps her safely away.

The most fascinating creature on two feet is a woman. Females always seem to be in a hurry. Their lives are so filled with demands at work and home that they have little time to leisurely walk. When women are herding children for activities, they move with the same grace as a Border Collie. Not even the smallest or quickest child can escape her herding skills. In no time she has the car packed with children and all the gear that the young’uns need. On other occasions, women spend a great deal of time to look fabulous for a formal occasion. Many choose to wear high heels, and their quick walk slows to choppy steps that take them short distances. Some man decided one day that those shoes made women’s legs look beautiful, and females fell for the line. The only thing good about those shoes is that they spend most of their time in the back of a closet. Most of the time, females wear tennis shoes They are comfortable and allow women to move quickly and with more agility.

Men are the worst walkers of all. We might have been better off to have continued walking like apes. Instead, we walk upright and perform tasks that invite back and leg injuries. Over the years, I’ve had two ankle operations, one cervical surgery, and one disc fusion operation. Overdoing things, like most men do, leads to those kinds of injuries. Our walks go from powerful, smooth motion to crooked backs with pains that run from the base of our spine to the tips of our toes. As the years pass, we males find our shoulders drooping and our spines curving. A walk turns into a shuffling of the feet.

Maybe we were meant to walk like apes, but I choose to think we were given the ability to stand up and wonder at the beauty. These days, however, some of us just need the help of braces, orthopedic shoes and inserts, not to mention a handful of Tylenol.